Dawn cracks open the world, forcing its upper windows ajar. Letting the first spark of light into the darkness. Dawn takes darkness for granted. Takes her job of breaking night for granted. Dawn is careless, heedless of how brightly she burns. She doesn’t concern herself with the flammability of daylight. She wants only to extinguish the stars.
I, unaccountably, love vultures. Shy and overly friendly, they’ll carefully pluck the buttons from your shirt. No really, it happened to me. Well, it was only one button.
Gaining a vulture’s trust takes time. In the heat of a late August morning try a hose that sprays cool water under their wings and across their heavy chests. Afterwards, glistening wings held wide, the vulture will smile. Head tilted just so; his beak left slightly ajar; his black eyes rolling in ecstasy.
But I digress… I always digress. The slow presence of prayer and the slow drying of the vulture’s wings. These are only talismans. Against what— I can no longer tell. Against the loss of memory?
But I want to forget God. As if he had simply walked away from the world on that August morning while I was bathing the vultures.
in the early fall while the bees clean house, I conjure a moon that tastes of fireweed honey, sweet on the tongue and slow on the fingers, it climbs high behind the hickory tree and hangs in the topmost branches.
We need a patron saint for the banana boxes that they pack your groceries in down at Costco, … for boys in backwards ball caps, … for velcro shoes and old men with wraparound sunglasses. We need a patron saint for poets the ones without faith and the ones with scars from teenage acne, … for body oil, pipe bombs, and transdermal nicotine, … for every Mexican cab driver who has ever gotten me safely to my destination in spite of my inability to correctly pronounce colonia, … for the brown and white saddle shoes my mother wore in high school. We need a patron saint for the tumbling worded prayers of children who mistake God for Good, … for the space between Holy and Whole Foods, … for anaphor, onomatopoeia, and the cultural references to the 1970’s in the New York Times crossword puzzle. We need a patron saint for days when the sun shines slantwise and the dogs lie down in the dust behind the barns. We need a patron saint for small stakes gambling, … for unacknowledged acts of contrition, … for the places that angels cannot go because their wings do not fit.
A creased wedding photograph of a woman. A Mass Card when she passes. The facts of her life support no further conclusions. About the necessity of ambulances. The man who held her in his childish embrace. She is the silence that avalanches down to a mute son with too many mothers. Not enough uncles to help put the pigs back into the sties. On Friday night after the football game. Teenage boys lick the lipgloss off of the head cheerleader. She is the fact of a ride up to the cemetery. Her grandfather tumbles down with the cicadas. She is the silent face of a younger brother who collapses. The folding chairs and carries them to the attic full of trunks and shoe boxes. The shoes from her other life. She is the silence, a crimson wedge. Cheese rind made of ash from the steel furnaces that soot the city. We can say no more.